I love Fiverr

I love its  ‘how fiverr works’ video.

Its strobe-like, migraine-inducing medium- voltage  diatribe, and its pushy, careless Haviana wearing voiceover.

I love its generous contribution to the overdiagnosis of ADHD, a mythology in which the problem lies with the individual, not the machine.

Its Tinder-like exploitation of the collective non-committal psyche. I love that it has two rr’s so you sound like a young American when you say it.

Its brazen pimpyoface profiles, its shiny, smiling writers driven drunk by the compulsion to simply exist, discounting their five dollar rates as though being paid for your work is a primitive habit we should have grown out of.

I love its broken promises to hardworking people in developing nations who just spent hours answering the inane questions of clients who were never going to pay anyway.

Most of all , I love its swift delivery of the final humiliation for us first world Loserrs who dedicated their youth to the humanities and took out unspeakable student loans for their craft. The years spent share housing with country club vegans, the guy with Tourettes and the cocktail glass twins while we huddled under a camping store blanket in the corner reading Tolstoy, throughly convinced an education would somehow lead to a roof over our heads.

If you haven’t heard of it, Fiverr is an online freelance discount store, where just behind the oversized moustaches and toxic scented votives you can bag yourself a freelancer for a fiverr. Fiverr is another welt on an already suffering body of workers, which captures perfectly the zeitgeist of our times. But the gall of its unapologetic exploitation, the limp assertion that this is a platform empowering people,  the laziness of its pitch, as though we have all fallen asleep at the wheel and won’t actually realise what’s going on..well  this is truly worth a round of applause.

More Soma anyone?